(no subject)

[anewreturner]

It is a beautiful day in Locke City, the sort of day that seemed to encourage truancy among Locke City's university students. It was no doubt the reason for the excessive number of absences in Celia's morning classes. Students were sunbathing on campus grounds, stretched out on long beach towels on green, grassy patches. It was only April, but the distinct smell of sunscreen permeated the air. It reminded Celia of summer.

There was so much to look forward to in the summer months. Though many of her peers were excited for their three months of freedom, Celia's excitement stemmed from her upcoming summer internship at Prometheus. Typically, they only accepted applications from juniors and seniors. However, a professor's recommendation had landed Celia's application among the others. Someone had apparently taken notice, as a week ago, she received notice that she had been accepted into the program.

Celia had rationalized this as being a product of her own hard work. Where others slacked off, she was diligent. It was part of the reason why she was meeting with her study partner in the quiet section of the university quad, instead of basking in the afternoon sun.

Eugen is already there when she arrives, as he always is. And she sets her bag down in one of the empty seats, as she always does. "Hello," she says, smiling down at the other brunette. "How were morning classes?"

She begins to tug her belongings out of her bag. First, her tablet-PC hybrid, then a notebook and pen, all set down in their rightful place in front of her seat. Then abruptly, without warning, she places a can and a bottle in front of Eugen; one is canned coffee, the other, apple juice.

"I wasn't sure which one you'd like," she says, clasping her hands behind her back. "So I decided I'd give you first choice."

She doesn't wait to watch him make his selection; instead, she reaches into her bag to retrieve something else.

Comments

[buildyourworld]

Well... the fact that she laid her cards down so seriously makes him feels like a heel for pulling this prank on her. The change in his demeanor is almost immediate when he pulls back and leans into his chair. The playful smirk on his face has all but vanished into a small smile. He's trying to make amends, and it's obvious he's feeling uncomfortable with the direction this little joke is heading.

"Hey, if you make that face, I'm going to feel like the biggest jerk in the world for teasing you."

Picking up one the sandwich, he takes a bite before adding, "Anyway, I know I'm not your type, so you don't have to worry about it."

[anewreturner]

"Teasing me?" Celia echoes. It takes a moment for her to process, but as the realization finally dawns on her, Celia's eyes widen in surprise. Her mouth drops. Her eyes flicker down. And yet again, Celia finds herself blushing.

A number of emotions churn inside the brunentte, and she isn't entirely sure how she should react. It isn't long before her lips settle on a frown.

"You know I can't ever tell when you're joking." Celia isn't normally a loud person, but her voice is slightly strained now, the way it always is when she's upset. It's not Eugen she's angry with; it's herself for failing to pick it up in the first place. It's embarrassing to be so dense all the time -- especially because her answer had been serious.

"Meanie," she says with a pout, and for a second, Celia looks half her age.

The pout is short-lived as Celia flips open her notebook; there are pages upon pages of neat, handwritten notes. She could just as easily take them on her tablet, but she prefers to take them this way.

"What are we going over today?"

[buildyourworld]

It doesn't take a genius to understand what's lurking beneath her expression. Especially because Celia has a tendency to wear her heart on her sleeves. Being around her so much makes it easy to discern them, and at this moment, Eugen wished he's the dense one. At least he wouldn't feel this bad over a spontaneous joke.

"I'm sorry." He apologized, feeling genuinely more like a jerk as seconds passed. He took in her expression, how she's trying to school away her anger and a knot tightens in his stomach. Way to go, Eugen. What a jerk you are. Kiss your free food goodbye.

He doesn't tear his eyes away from her even when she flips open her notebook. It doesn't sit well with him that she might be hiding something in her mind when she's normally fairly open to him. "If there's something in your mind, you should tell me. I don't want you to hide anything for whatever reason there is."

With a heavy sigh, he leans back and asks, his eyes trained on her face, "Were you serious?"

[anewreturner]

Celia is still looking down at her notebook when he poses his question. It's a difficult question to answer. She, too, is reluctant to say anything that might compromise their relationship. On the other hand, she's also a terrible liar.

She presses her lips together pensively before opening her mouth to speak again.

"I have never been really good at talking boys," she says in her usual quiet tones. "Because I went to Starling and I didn't have any interest in dating. I was just happy to do well in my classes."

Celia shifts uncomfortably in her chair.

"I haven't given it much thought until recently," she says. "My stepmother wants me to make an account on the same personals website she met my father on." Celia's expression turns uneasy. "So I've been thinking... about the kind of person I'd like to date."

Celia forces herself to look up at him now, her brows knotted, her lips tugged into a frown. The next few words come out stronger, and louder than the others.

"The kind of person I want to date would have to be kind-hearted and intelligent. I'd have to be able to trust them with my everything. You..." She looks down, and her words gradually grow quiet again. "....are that kind of person. Even if you don't realize it."

[buildyourworld]

He would rather listen to one hundred confessions from the girls who are gawking at him all the time than to be faced with Celia's. He felt trapped by her honesty and for a moment, all he could think about is why did he opened his big mouth and dig this grave for himself. Now he's left between jumping into it and bury himself or fill the grave, somehow.

But as he replays her words in his mind over and over again, somehow, it feels as if something isn't quite right. He's well aware of her lack of social circle that rarely extends out of her current friends, so it isn't that surprising that she's unaccustomed to matters like boys, dating and the sorts. But even so, he's surprised to find that the reason she's even thinking about it at all was because of her mother's request.

Not because she has been thinking about him before anyone told her to find someone.

And somehow, a question arises in his mind.

"I'm going to ask you something and I want you to know I'm not doing it so I don't have to respond to your confession." With a sigh, he crosses his legs beneath the table. "Do you really like me that way or do you like what I represent in your image of an ideal partner?"

[anewreturner]

"I don't know," Celia says, honestly, because the truth is, she doesn't. Eugen was the only boy that she could actually call friend, so it was natural for her to find the line between friendship and romance muddled. After all, the things she wanted in a friend were the same traits she wanted in a partner.

"Just..." She swallows. "Forget I said anything at all."

Celia pages through her notebook, though she's barely aware of what's written on the pages. It would have been better if she hadn't said anything at all, wouldn't it? Now there was the very real possibility that all this would create a rift in their friendship.

And that was the last thing Celia wanted.

[buildyourworld]

While he won't really mind dropping the subject, he knows he will never be able to sleep over it. Never mind that it's kind of annoying to be brushed off like this after being confessed to.

"You're being rude, Celia." He doesn't bother hiding his displeasure because it's unnecessary between them. "Answer my question."

Crossing his arms in front of his chest, he scowls at her for a moment before letting it drop. It's hard being angry with someone who's always so timid, even when she deserves it. "Do you like me before your mother told you to sign up on that website or after?"

[anewreturner]

A few heads turn at Eugen's sudden change in tone. If the people seated at nearby tables hadn't been listening before, they're certainly listening now. Even Celia notices the inquisitive eyes directed at them. Eugen's words had been uncomfortable enough, but now, it was almost completely unbearable. She's never been very good in front of audiences.

She turns, and glances at the math major in blue. He's still seated in one of the plush chairs nearby. His brows are knotted, his lips pulled into a slight frown. It was difficult for her to know if he had been listening, too.

Celia turns back to Eugen, her chest tightening with anxiety. "Until she said something," she confesses, "I never considered it. I had always just considered you a friend. But when I started thinking about it I..."

Celia's eyes flicker down to her notebook. The page is filled with neatly-scribed notes about the laws of thermodynamics. It'd be easier, somehow, if relationships were as unchanging as scientific principles.

But they're not.

"...thought I could see myself dating you," she finishes.

[buildyourworld]

Most of the busybodies looks away the moment Eugen sends a glare their way. He might possess good look and is generally nice to people but anyone in their faculty knows not to get in his bad side. Not if they want to survive his tutorial session.

As much as her answer confirmed his suspicious, he feels a strange mixture of relieve and disappointment in himself. Relieve because nothing about their friendship will change but at the same time, it's disappointing that it isn't. He knows part of it stems from his own vanity, that he should have been good enough for her and not just someone she considers out of necessity. It annoys him to be second placed.

Even so, he's glad that she's able to identify her own mistake. One that neither of them need.

His expression softens as he leans as he picks up the textbook again, his hand pressed on the page he left earlier.

"Because I'm conveniently present. You don't like me the way you think you do, Celia. If you do, you would have come to me much earlier."

[anewreturner]

Would she have, though? The thought of dating anyone had been a foreign concept to Celia until her stepmother broached the topic two Saturdays ago. Celia preferred to read about romance than actually experience it for herself. Romantic entanglements seemed too complicated, too messy for her. Whenever the character drama became too much for her to handle, she could simply put down the book and come back to it later.

It was harder to do that in reality, though.

If her stepmother hadn't said anything, she might have never considered the advantages of being romantically involved. A small part of her liked to live vicariously through the heroines in her novels, who were bold and brave and beautiful. Though their relationships with their lovers were not without their hardships, they always managed to survive the tempest. The heroine always ended up happy and loved at the end of the tale. Wouldn't she someday, as her stepmother gently suggested, want to live that out herself with another person? Wouldn't she want to be the heroine of her own story?

Celia's gaze fell to her notebook again. Their conversation had made it clear to her. She was no sooner prepared to become involved with a relationship than she was to train tigers. She lacked the emotional fortitude to see things through. When things became uncomfortable, she preferred to avoid them than to approach them head-on.

She was nothing like those heroines in her stories.

"Oh," she says, because she knows she has to say something to fill in the silence between them. There's really nothing else she can say to that. But she can't simply leave it at that -- not if she doesn't want Eugen to worry.

"We've gotten off-topic, haven't we?" Celia forces a smile, her head tilted slightly to one side. "We should return to studying."

[buildyourworld]

Fingers drumming the textbook, he was watching her as she took in his words. It was comforting to know that she was still the same as ever, always honest about her feelings. He could read her like an open book without even trying but sometimes, he wished he couldn't. It would had been better to not see the doubt in her, as if she was questioning if she really like him romantically. But he said nothing, and when she acknowledge his statement, he simply nodded. What he learned in that brief moment was pushed to the back of his mind, to be kept away from ruining their friendship.

Pulling the book closer, he started reviewing the points again. "It's fine. We're ahead of the class anyway."