(no subject)

[anewreturner]

It is a beautiful day in Locke City, the sort of day that seemed to encourage truancy among Locke City's university students. It was no doubt the reason for the excessive number of absences in Celia's morning classes. Students were sunbathing on campus grounds, stretched out on long beach towels on green, grassy patches. It was only April, but the distinct smell of sunscreen permeated the air. It reminded Celia of summer.

There was so much to look forward to in the summer months. Though many of her peers were excited for their three months of freedom, Celia's excitement stemmed from her upcoming summer internship at Prometheus. Typically, they only accepted applications from juniors and seniors. However, a professor's recommendation had landed Celia's application among the others. Someone had apparently taken notice, as a week ago, she received notice that she had been accepted into the program.

Celia had rationalized this as being a product of her own hard work. Where others slacked off, she was diligent. It was part of the reason why she was meeting with her study partner in the quiet section of the university quad, instead of basking in the afternoon sun.

Eugen is already there when she arrives, as he always is. And she sets her bag down in one of the empty seats, as she always does. "Hello," she says, smiling down at the other brunette. "How were morning classes?"

She begins to tug her belongings out of her bag. First, her tablet-PC hybrid, then a notebook and pen, all set down in their rightful place in front of her seat. Then abruptly, without warning, she places a can and a bottle in front of Eugen; one is canned coffee, the other, apple juice.

"I wasn't sure which one you'd like," she says, clasping her hands behind her back. "So I decided I'd give you first choice."

She doesn't wait to watch him make his selection; instead, she reaches into her bag to retrieve something else.

Comments

[buildyourworld]

Or he was simply not good enough because Eugen tends to remember classmates who can rival his grade. He's competitive and that's no secret to anyone. He shrugs, not bothered by the lack of recognition.

He types something into his notebook before answering her. Sometimes, it amazes him how completely dense she is about relationship even though she has the look and brain to attract the opposite gender regularly. "It's up to you really. There's no wrong or right in things like these. You could give him a chance if you feel like trying but otherwise, saying yes when you're not interested is the same as stringing him along. That's unfair too."

Okay, that. Gets him to raise an amused eyebrow. "Like you're one to talk, missy. I've lost count of all the poor guys who were vying for your love only to have you completely and thoroughly overlook their sad existence."

[anewreturner]

Anew's frown deepens as she bites into her egg. Eugen has a point as well. Truthfully, she wasn't interested in the stranger; even his face drew a blank in her mind's eye. But a small part of her, the one that felt a tinge of guilt at rejecting suitor after suitor, couldn't help but consider her lack of interest was the product of her own lack of memories of the man.

For all she knew, the two of them could be destined to be together.

Though Anew would never admit it to Eugen, she liked the idea of fate. It might seem like a childish concept, but even as an adult, just the suggestion was enough to make her heart race.

Celia doubted, somehow, that Eugen reacted the same way to fate.

"It isn't my fault though," she begins to protest. "If they don't tell me, then how am I supposed to know?"

[buildyourworld]

Well, he knows. Of course he knows. If it's about her, Eugen can confidently admits he understands her well because of all the time they spend together. Rolling his eyes, he leans forward a little and points a finger at her. "It's because you never look around you, so you don't notice anyone. They were trying to get your attention but if you don't reciprocate due to fact number one, of course they would give up." He sighs, leaning back again as he pushes his glasses up. "No guy is brave enough to approach a girl who won't even give him one second of her attention."

Shrugging casually, he picks up his pen to twirl it. "So. Why do you feel compelled to be sorry for my admirers?" He might or might not know what she's hinting at but he wants to hear it from her nonetheless.

[anewreturner]

Eugen has always been straightforward and direct. It's part of what Celia likes about him; he isn't one to mince words, so she can always defer to him when she's in need of an honest opinion.

"Is that it?" Celia says softly. She looks down at the table, her lips curling into a soft frown. It looks like she's taking Eugen's assessment pretty seriously.

Celia looks up. "I'll have to try harder to notice others, then." It wasn't that she was entirely self-absorbed; she was just absorbed in her own thoughts most of the time. Numbers, equations, formulas -- those things were always at the forefront of her mind, even when she wasn't in classes. Somehow, making mental calculations kept her at ease, even when she wasn't.

She glances over at the boy in blue again and offers him a smile. The boy in blue's expression brightens, and for a second, it looks like he might approach their table. But he glances at Eugen and hesitates, then stays where he is.

Right now, though, Celia's attention isn't on the numbers in her head, or on the boy in blue sitting a few tables over. It's on her friend. "Because," she begins, "you never seem really sincerely involved with the people you're dating."

[buildyourworld]

He nods to her, quietly giving her the answer he knew she needs. While she's dense, Celia is by far one of the most sincere person he has ever met. He's ready to vouch that Celia would never deliberately ignore anyone. So knowing she's always true to people around her, in return, he always put her best interest in heart. Even if he's not always the nicest in delivering them.

Noticing what she did and how the boy reacted, Eugen shakes his head a little, "You should do that when I'm not around." Because like it or not, a lot of people suspects they are a couple because of the obscene amount of time they spend in each other's company.

He knew it. Rolling his eyes there, "I've never cheated on anyone, if you must know. They wanted the chance, I gave it to them. Whether they're able hold onto me in a different matter altogether." Leaning forward, he grins at her, "I'm not a romantis like you."

[anewreturner]

"Why?" Celia genuinely doesn't seem to have the slightest clue. "Is it not obvious to others that the two of us are just friends?"

It seemed perfectly clear to Celia. Though she had only been attending Locke City University for a year now, she'd noted that there had been plenty of couples studying together, all far more physically affectionate than she was with Eugen. They'd hold hands while they read, and sometimes, they'd even kiss. As dense as she could be at times, with enough observation, Celia could easily ascertain who was dating and who was not.

But Eugen's mention of cheating is enough to take Celia aback. She quickly raises her hands in front of her, as if in surrender.

"Of course not!" she says. "I never thought you were that kind of person." She wouldn't be friends with him if he was.

Celia lowers her hands -- and her eyes. "You just never seem to get too attached to any one person. Sometimes, I'm surprised you've remained friends with me for this long."

[buildyourworld]

"It's because you have no eyes for other guys but you're always with me. It probably doesn't help that you cook for me too. It's not surprising if people think we're a couple. Not like it's new anyway."

What she missed out is the fact that not all couples are publicly intimate. So despite her observation, her lack of experience in the matter is clearly affecting her understanding.

Her reaction to his answer is quite amusing that he chuckles in return.

"Relax, Celia. It's not a big deal." Shaking his head, he continues, "I don't care much about relationship other than the fact that it can be mutually beneficial. It's not like I forced anyone to date me. I merely gave them the chance to do what they want. If they couldn't hold my interest, why should I be bothered to attach myself to them?"

Pausing for a moment to regards her, he leans forward with a grin and whispers to her in a low voice, "Maybe I'm secretly in love with you."

[anewreturner]

Red blossoms across Celia's cheeks at Eugen's words. Instead or opening her mouth to argue the nature of relationships, it falls open, uncomprehendingly.

Eugene had never shown more than a platonic interest in her. But now...

"Ah," she finally manages to push forward.

A beat, as she looks down at her notebook. The red of her cheeks is only deepening now.

"I-If it were you," she says hesitantly, "I wouldn't mind it."

[buildyourworld]

Oh? What is this? Could she possibly be interested in me? His brow raised in amusement, the grin on his face turns upward into a smirk as he leans on one palm, eyeing her with interest.

"Really? I always thought I'm too much of a playboy for your taste. What brought about the change of mind?"

To be honest, Eugen wouldn't mind dating her but he's well aware of how she viewed relationship and so he had never thought of pursuing her. It wouldn't do either of them any good since he doesn't fulfill her ideal of a boyfriend and he would never concur with her point of view in the matter of love. He'll much rather remain as her best friend than to spoil the great friendship they've built.

[anewreturner]

Celia's discomfort is palpable. She looks back down at her hands, folded in her lap, then pensively presses her lips together.

How did she let the topic get so far away from her? The two of them were just supposed to be studying, weren't they?

"I just trust you," she says, still looking down. It's strange, how there are so lines stretched thin across the joints of her fingers and the bumps of her knuckles. She had never taken time to notice it before. "I don't think you'd ever do anything to intentionally hurt me."

[buildyourworld]

Well... the fact that she laid her cards down so seriously makes him feels like a heel for pulling this prank on her. The change in his demeanor is almost immediate when he pulls back and leans into his chair. The playful smirk on his face has all but vanished into a small smile. He's trying to make amends, and it's obvious he's feeling uncomfortable with the direction this little joke is heading.

"Hey, if you make that face, I'm going to feel like the biggest jerk in the world for teasing you."

Picking up one the sandwich, he takes a bite before adding, "Anyway, I know I'm not your type, so you don't have to worry about it."

[anewreturner]

"Teasing me?" Celia echoes. It takes a moment for her to process, but as the realization finally dawns on her, Celia's eyes widen in surprise. Her mouth drops. Her eyes flicker down. And yet again, Celia finds herself blushing.

A number of emotions churn inside the brunentte, and she isn't entirely sure how she should react. It isn't long before her lips settle on a frown.

"You know I can't ever tell when you're joking." Celia isn't normally a loud person, but her voice is slightly strained now, the way it always is when she's upset. It's not Eugen she's angry with; it's herself for failing to pick it up in the first place. It's embarrassing to be so dense all the time -- especially because her answer had been serious.

"Meanie," she says with a pout, and for a second, Celia looks half her age.

The pout is short-lived as Celia flips open her notebook; there are pages upon pages of neat, handwritten notes. She could just as easily take them on her tablet, but she prefers to take them this way.

"What are we going over today?"

[buildyourworld]

It doesn't take a genius to understand what's lurking beneath her expression. Especially because Celia has a tendency to wear her heart on her sleeves. Being around her so much makes it easy to discern them, and at this moment, Eugen wished he's the dense one. At least he wouldn't feel this bad over a spontaneous joke.

"I'm sorry." He apologized, feeling genuinely more like a jerk as seconds passed. He took in her expression, how she's trying to school away her anger and a knot tightens in his stomach. Way to go, Eugen. What a jerk you are. Kiss your free food goodbye.

He doesn't tear his eyes away from her even when she flips open her notebook. It doesn't sit well with him that she might be hiding something in her mind when she's normally fairly open to him. "If there's something in your mind, you should tell me. I don't want you to hide anything for whatever reason there is."

With a heavy sigh, he leans back and asks, his eyes trained on her face, "Were you serious?"

[anewreturner]

Celia is still looking down at her notebook when he poses his question. It's a difficult question to answer. She, too, is reluctant to say anything that might compromise their relationship. On the other hand, she's also a terrible liar.

She presses her lips together pensively before opening her mouth to speak again.

"I have never been really good at talking boys," she says in her usual quiet tones. "Because I went to Starling and I didn't have any interest in dating. I was just happy to do well in my classes."

Celia shifts uncomfortably in her chair.

"I haven't given it much thought until recently," she says. "My stepmother wants me to make an account on the same personals website she met my father on." Celia's expression turns uneasy. "So I've been thinking... about the kind of person I'd like to date."

Celia forces herself to look up at him now, her brows knotted, her lips tugged into a frown. The next few words come out stronger, and louder than the others.

"The kind of person I want to date would have to be kind-hearted and intelligent. I'd have to be able to trust them with my everything. You..." She looks down, and her words gradually grow quiet again. "....are that kind of person. Even if you don't realize it."

[buildyourworld]

He would rather listen to one hundred confessions from the girls who are gawking at him all the time than to be faced with Celia's. He felt trapped by her honesty and for a moment, all he could think about is why did he opened his big mouth and dig this grave for himself. Now he's left between jumping into it and bury himself or fill the grave, somehow.

But as he replays her words in his mind over and over again, somehow, it feels as if something isn't quite right. He's well aware of her lack of social circle that rarely extends out of her current friends, so it isn't that surprising that she's unaccustomed to matters like boys, dating and the sorts. But even so, he's surprised to find that the reason she's even thinking about it at all was because of her mother's request.

Not because she has been thinking about him before anyone told her to find someone.

And somehow, a question arises in his mind.

"I'm going to ask you something and I want you to know I'm not doing it so I don't have to respond to your confession." With a sigh, he crosses his legs beneath the table. "Do you really like me that way or do you like what I represent in your image of an ideal partner?"

[anewreturner]

"I don't know," Celia says, honestly, because the truth is, she doesn't. Eugen was the only boy that she could actually call friend, so it was natural for her to find the line between friendship and romance muddled. After all, the things she wanted in a friend were the same traits she wanted in a partner.

"Just..." She swallows. "Forget I said anything at all."

Celia pages through her notebook, though she's barely aware of what's written on the pages. It would have been better if she hadn't said anything at all, wouldn't it? Now there was the very real possibility that all this would create a rift in their friendship.

And that was the last thing Celia wanted.

[buildyourworld]

While he won't really mind dropping the subject, he knows he will never be able to sleep over it. Never mind that it's kind of annoying to be brushed off like this after being confessed to.

"You're being rude, Celia." He doesn't bother hiding his displeasure because it's unnecessary between them. "Answer my question."

Crossing his arms in front of his chest, he scowls at her for a moment before letting it drop. It's hard being angry with someone who's always so timid, even when she deserves it. "Do you like me before your mother told you to sign up on that website or after?"

[anewreturner]

A few heads turn at Eugen's sudden change in tone. If the people seated at nearby tables hadn't been listening before, they're certainly listening now. Even Celia notices the inquisitive eyes directed at them. Eugen's words had been uncomfortable enough, but now, it was almost completely unbearable. She's never been very good in front of audiences.

She turns, and glances at the math major in blue. He's still seated in one of the plush chairs nearby. His brows are knotted, his lips pulled into a slight frown. It was difficult for her to know if he had been listening, too.

Celia turns back to Eugen, her chest tightening with anxiety. "Until she said something," she confesses, "I never considered it. I had always just considered you a friend. But when I started thinking about it I..."

Celia's eyes flicker down to her notebook. The page is filled with neatly-scribed notes about the laws of thermodynamics. It'd be easier, somehow, if relationships were as unchanging as scientific principles.

But they're not.

"...thought I could see myself dating you," she finishes.

[buildyourworld]

Most of the busybodies looks away the moment Eugen sends a glare their way. He might possess good look and is generally nice to people but anyone in their faculty knows not to get in his bad side. Not if they want to survive his tutorial session.

As much as her answer confirmed his suspicious, he feels a strange mixture of relieve and disappointment in himself. Relieve because nothing about their friendship will change but at the same time, it's disappointing that it isn't. He knows part of it stems from his own vanity, that he should have been good enough for her and not just someone she considers out of necessity. It annoys him to be second placed.

Even so, he's glad that she's able to identify her own mistake. One that neither of them need.

His expression softens as he leans as he picks up the textbook again, his hand pressed on the page he left earlier.

"Because I'm conveniently present. You don't like me the way you think you do, Celia. If you do, you would have come to me much earlier."

[anewreturner]

Would she have, though? The thought of dating anyone had been a foreign concept to Celia until her stepmother broached the topic two Saturdays ago. Celia preferred to read about romance than actually experience it for herself. Romantic entanglements seemed too complicated, too messy for her. Whenever the character drama became too much for her to handle, she could simply put down the book and come back to it later.

It was harder to do that in reality, though.

If her stepmother hadn't said anything, she might have never considered the advantages of being romantically involved. A small part of her liked to live vicariously through the heroines in her novels, who were bold and brave and beautiful. Though their relationships with their lovers were not without their hardships, they always managed to survive the tempest. The heroine always ended up happy and loved at the end of the tale. Wouldn't she someday, as her stepmother gently suggested, want to live that out herself with another person? Wouldn't she want to be the heroine of her own story?

Celia's gaze fell to her notebook again. Their conversation had made it clear to her. She was no sooner prepared to become involved with a relationship than she was to train tigers. She lacked the emotional fortitude to see things through. When things became uncomfortable, she preferred to avoid them than to approach them head-on.

She was nothing like those heroines in her stories.

"Oh," she says, because she knows she has to say something to fill in the silence between them. There's really nothing else she can say to that. But she can't simply leave it at that -- not if she doesn't want Eugen to worry.

"We've gotten off-topic, haven't we?" Celia forces a smile, her head tilted slightly to one side. "We should return to studying."

[buildyourworld]

Fingers drumming the textbook, he was watching her as she took in his words. It was comforting to know that she was still the same as ever, always honest about her feelings. He could read her like an open book without even trying but sometimes, he wished he couldn't. It would had been better to not see the doubt in her, as if she was questioning if she really like him romantically. But he said nothing, and when she acknowledge his statement, he simply nodded. What he learned in that brief moment was pushed to the back of his mind, to be kept away from ruining their friendship.

Pulling the book closer, he started reviewing the points again. "It's fine. We're ahead of the class anyway."